30 days. 30 days from tonight, I will be home in Canada.
As the days wind down, I still feel a variety of emotions. I am still very excited about being home with my dearly-loved family; but my heart also hurts a great deal at the thought of leaving my beloved Southern Family.
Yesterday, I continued on my journey of bidding farewell to dear ones whom I may not see again for some time. It was hard, there is no denying that; but I can't help but reflect in gratitude, as I think of the growth I've experienced over this past year. At this time, last year, a transition like the one I'm walking through would have wore me out and destroyed my days, emotionally and spiritually. Yesterday, I feared that this would happen once again, as I bid farewell to my dear friend, Major Leisa Hall. You see, the last time I had to say goodbye to my friend, as she was being moved from Oklahoma City to a new appointment in Florida in 2012, I was wrecked emotionally, physically and spiritually for days and months to follow. My depression deepened, I comforted myself with food, and I wondered where on earth God was in the midst of such hurt and separation.
Not this time, though...not this time.
Saying goodbye to my dear friend was, naturally, very difficult. I shed many tears, as I gave my friend one last hug. I gave myself space to feel the emotions of sadness, I prayed, I found my footing, emotionally, and I walked on to Chorus rehearsal, and on to the rest of my day.
Growth, and the grace of God. That's what I'm experiencing, this time around.
So tonight, my heart is a little heavy, and I am a little anxious about the future; but with God's help, these feelings will not consume me...
"We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves.
We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed." ~ 2 Corinthians 4:7-9
Our theme for this year's Territorial Music Institute is "Give God the Glory," and tonight, as I prepare to lay my head down, I can testify that my ability to walk through these next 30 days in a healthy and whole manner will occur only by the grace and the power of God. He alone has been the One to lead me through my journey thusfar, and I am trusting that He will continue to lead me through the next 30 days of packing, finishing, worshipping, and bidding farewell, among many other things.
Here's to the next 30 days, and here's to the continued faithfulness of God.
Blessings.
