Last night was a strange night. I had a full day of training for my new job, had dinner with my aunt, and went home. It wasn't until I was sitting in my living room, in my PJ's, with our little dog traipsing about at my feet, that reality hit me: it was Wednesday evening, which meant that OKC Citadel's youth and music programs were beginning for the year, in fact, were already in full swing (remember, I'm now two hours ahead of OKC in PEI).

Most would feel elated at the idea of a free evening. I, however, felt lost. The familiarity of routine and fellowship with my corps family that I once had, was suddenly gone. I didn't know what to do with myself, other than, amidst the pain in my heart, to pray for my corps family.

Embracing a "new normal," and following God's leading, unfortunately, is not always how we'd like it to be, or how we think it should be. I knew the day I sat in my corps officer's office and uttered the words of my decision to move home that it was indeed God's leading that brought me to such a decision, and I was excited at the thought of being home with my family and friends, again; but with this new chapter came the pain of saying goodbye to my beloved "Okie Family," the challenge of starting fresh with a new job, entering back into a culture I haven't been part of for several years, leaving behind all that has been familiar to me for almost five years.

But I'm slowly learning, through this time of transition, that it's okay to move on. And it's okay for my corps family to move on. It's okay for me to be sad, and it's okay to miss being part of that family; but it's also okay for me to be happy when that family has success, and grows together, to pray them through periods of growth and struggle. I can move on and still carry that sweet family in my heart.

But...it's also okay for me to be part of a corps family, here in Charlottetown. It's okay to grow with them, to rejoice with them, to pray with them, just as I did in OKC. It's okay to move on.

I have a wise and dear friend who told me recently, "Give yourself the gift of time and you will soon realize that what now feels unfamiliar will have become a comfy soft sweater wrapped around you." I'm learning to give myself this gift of time. Time to adjust to my new job (knowing that I don't have to know everything right away). Time to grieve. Time to rest. Time to share with my family and friends. Time to make new friends, and to reconnect with others. Time to connect, even reconnect, with God. Time to establish a new routine. Time to adjust to, and to embrace, this "new normal." 

And again, as I'm closing this entry, as it has come back to me many times before, the words of a well-known hymn return to me: 

Trusting as the moments fly,
Trusting as the days go by,
Trusting Him, whate’er befall,
Trusting Jesus, that is all.

The brave steps continue...one at a time. Please hold me close in prayer.

Blessings.