"And now, just as you accepted Christ Jesus as your Lord,
you must continue to follow him.
Let your roots grow down into him,
and let your lives be built on him.
Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught,
and you will overflow with thankfulness."
Colossians 2:7 (NLT)
you must continue to follow him.
Let your roots grow down into him,
and let your lives be built on him.
Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught,
and you will overflow with thankfulness."
Colossians 2:7 (NLT)
This past weekend, I was honored to be part of a celebration that concluded four years of college for my dear friend Angela. Her journey has been so many things: exciting, adventurous, scary, challenging, stretching, sometimes even miraculous, and I know she would agree. I've been there. The day I received my diploma, I did two things: I took a long and deep sigh of relief, that this chapter was complete; but I also sucked my breath back in, wondering what on earth God had in store for me in the new chapter that was about to begin. I have no doubt that my sweet friend has done the same. But more on that, another time.
Yesterday, I had the opportunity to share some of my heart and my journey with my friends, as we made the long drive home to Oklahoma City from Kentucky. I shared some of the challenges that will lay ahead in this leg of my journey. I have shared openly in previous posts my need to address and work through some of the emotional struggles that have been connected with my eating and weight issues. Over the next few weeks, I will be called to unearth, process and work through some issues I have worked hard to suppress over several years. I will face fears, learn new ways to cope with life, and work to rewrite the negatively-fueled script of a tape that has been playing over and over in my head for as long as I can remember. Loved ones, it really will not benefit you to know the details of what I will be working through and, if I'm honest, even I don't know all of those details yet. But what I do want you to know is that this will be a very challenging feat. It will be exhausting, in every sense of the word. There are times when I will want to avoid it, walk away from it, give up on it completely. But, as I've reflected on recently, I've begun to experience and taste the sweetness of freedom and walking in victory, and once you've experienced it, deep in your soul, you don't want to go back to what used to be, no matter how comfortable or seemingly easy it was.
So, in this regard, please pray for me. Pray for wisdom for myself and for the person who will be walking this journey with me. Pray for encouragement and support from the wonderful people who are surrounding me throughout this journey. Pray for God to be glorified, even in the midst of challenging times.
It was important for me to express the above, because, as I was able to share my heart with dear ones, yesterday, God brought something to mind that really rocked my spirit. As I was standing in a gas station, during a quick restroom break, the words came to me, and I immediately reached for my phone and feverishly put the words to "paper":
"Sometimes saying "yes" and walking in obedience requires doors to be opened that we never wanted opened. Sometimes it allows for wounds to be opened that we've fought for years to keep covered. It's messy to unearth things of our past that we haven't previously dealt with...but we know that a dead plant won't grow. A covered wound won't heal. Darkness remains darkness until the light of an open door breaks through.
Healing is messy, but it's necessary for growth. It's messy, and it takes work; but when the cycle is broken, you become free to walk in victory."
Wow. I remember writing those words down, then catching my breath. In the middle of that gas station, God reminded me of the dire importance of this journey's next leg. Because, believe me when I say this: yesterday, in that gas station, there was a part of me that did not want to take another step down this road God is calling me to walk. This stuff is messy. It's exhausting to dredge up the hard and dried-up, dehydrated soil of your heart and mind. Problem is, though, in the past, I dredged up these issues, and simply replanted them, not resolved, not dealt with, and even buried them deeper and farther into the ground, never to see the light of day. Anybody else note the unhealthy flaw in that? Because I sure do. How could I ever expect healing and change and growth to come from seeds that were still infected, going into soil that was still hard, dried-up, parched and dehydrated?
It won't happen. It just won't. And it's taken me years to finally figure that out.
So this morning, as I was taking a shower and getting ready for my day, I asked God to help me with these words He brought to mind. I know that He inspired the words I wrote above; but I wanted to know what His Word said about all this. My mind particularly stuck to the phrase, "...we know that a dead plant won't grow." I vaguely remembered a verse about being "rooted", which I found out later came from Colossians 2:7 (quoted above), but then I came across the book of Hosea, and I was reminded of the Scripture that was used as part of the theme of this year's Women's Camp, "Standing...Dancing...Singing in the Rain":
"I said, 'Plant the good seeds of righteousness, and you will harvest a crop of love. Plow up the hard ground of your hearts, for now is the time to seek the Lord, that he may come and shower righteousness upon you.'" ~ Hosea 10:12 (NLT)
Do you know much about the book of Hosea? I'm a little embarrassed to say that I didn't. I know that I've read it. I know that I've heard sermons on it. I know I studied it in college. But when I returned to this book in my Bible, this morning, I needed to be reminded of what this book was all about.
I'll give a few broad strokes of the background. The prophet Hosea was writing to the people of Israel, who were living very sinful lives. Hosea was warning Israel of the turmoil and destruction they would face because of their sin and idolatry. If they didn't return to God, they risked war and famine and a life separated from God. It's all about context, right? Look at what Hosea goes on to say in verse 13:
"'But you have cultivated wickedness and harvested a thriving crop of sins. You have eaten the fruit of lies - frustrating your military might, believing that great armies could make your nations safe.'" ~ Hosea 10:13 (NLT)
Going back a little further to the beginning of Chapter 10, Hosea talks about "how prosperous Israel is - a luxuriant vine loaded with fruit." (10:1). But he reminds us that the more aware Israel was of its prosperity, the less aware they were of God. Then the altars were built. The idols were erected. He says in verse 4:
"They spout empty words and make covenants they don't intend to keep. So injustice springs up among them, like poisonous weeds in a farmer's field." (10:4)
Hosea doesn't sugar-coat a thing, in this book. He tells Israel exactly how it is, in The Lord's eyes. His words are hard to swallow; but if we were really honest, can we not relate to what Israel was doing? Isn't this pretty relevant to our world? Sit with that for a moment.
But, God being who He is, He reminds us of His faithfulness to Israel, and of the importance of returning to Him, later in Chapter 13:
"'I have been the Lord your God, ever since I brought you out of Egypt. You must acknowledge no God but me, for there is no other savior. I took care of you in the wilderness, in that dry and thirsty land. But when you had eaten and were satisfied, you became proud and forgot me.'" (13:4-6)
Ouch. Am I the only one feeling convicted by that? Well, read a little further, down to Chapter 14:
"Return, O Israel, to the Lord your God, for your sins have brought you down. Bring your confessions and return to the Lord. Say to him, 'Forgive all our sins and graciously receive us, so that we may offer you our praises.'...
The Lord says, 'Then I will heal you of your faithfulness; my love will know no bounds, for my anger will be gone forever. I will be to Israel like a refreshing dew from heaven. Israel will blossom like the lily; it will send roots deep into the soil like the cedars of Lebanon. Its branches will spread out like beautiful olive trees, as fragrant as the cedars of Lebanon. My people will again flourish like grain and blossom like grapevines. They will be as fragrant as the wines of Lebanon.
O Israel, stay away from idols! I am the one who answers your prayers and cares for you. I am like a tree that is always green; all your fruit comes from me.'"
A dead plant won't grow. Seeds that are infected, not planted and cared for properly, will not grow into something that's fresh and healthy and prosperous.
Friends, let me be the first to admit that there are weeds and poisonous roots and infected vines growing around my heart and mind. And because they've been growing for years, it's going to take a lot of time and work to cut these things away; but it's time. It's time for change. It's time to dredge up the soil, and seeds and roots that are infected. It's time to deal with the pain of my past, and replace the dead plants with new ones, ones that are deeply rooted in God's promises and truth, so that a beautiful garden, fresh, new, bursting with color and health, begins to grow.
But I know that I'm no master gardener. Anyone who knows me, knows that my "green thumb" is a bright purple. So I need help. Once again, I must submit to God's leading, and trust in Him. I need to allow Him to show me where to dig, what to dig, and what to replace. I need to allow Him to work through those who are walking me through this journey, to help me rewrite the script, and to find what's true among what feels like a million lies that the enemy of my soul has plagued me with for years.
It's time.
Oh, I have so much more to write about this. And I have a feeling that I'm going to be hanging out with Hosea for a while. But for now, I will allow this to sit. And I will ask you a question:
Is it time for you?
Think about it. And check out the book of Hosea.
Blessings.
