"Your identity is not your failure or past. Your identity is not your success or virtues. Your identity is not what you do, what you did, haven't done, should have done, or wished you'd done. Your identity is a chosen, loved woman whom God calls His beloved. Can you begin to accept the you that God accepted?" (Rothschild, Hosea: Unfailing Love Changes Everything, pg. 33)

I need to sit with that for a moment. See, what I'm currently working through involves learning the fine art of internalizing the truth about who I am, not the lies, not the negative distorted reality I've picked up somewhere. And it's hard. Have you ever tried to learn a new way of doing something that's always come naturally to you, in the past? Wowsers. Unfortunately, for me, I've gotten really good at internalizing a lot of distorted truths about myself, and at 32 years old, I'm learning how to re-write that script. It's tough. So very tough. But with God's hand upon me, I'm slowly turning that tide. And let me tell you, sometimes it feels like I'm trying to turn the tide of the entire Atlantic Ocean, as I break down and sift through the lies that are ingrained in my mind. It takes a lot of repetition, and sometimes it involves a lot of tears; but by golly, I'm doing it.

So, I look at that phrase, "Can you begin to accept the you that God accepted?", and I have to stop there for a second. Even after being a Christian for several years, I still struggle to accept the "me" that God has accepted, and is refining...but I can begin, can't I?

I grabbed my journal, and started writing. I used an exercise that I've been learning and using to help counteract the negative beliefs I have about myself, debate them with the truth, and consider an alternative response to the event.


But it's not too late to begin turning that tide.

I've been believing for a long time that I'm not worthy of God's love, and I've not been able to accept who I am in Him...but it's simply not true, and there are so many promises in His Word that completely counteract the distorted beliefs I've long held. I've believed His promises for so many others, and it's time to believe them for myself. It's time to turn the tide. It's going to be tough, and it's going to require work, and faith, big steps of faith...but it's time.

Friends, we can't do this alone. First and foremost, we need God's help. Immensely. But we also need each other. Today I realized a very important truth that I've been distorting for years: "I DON'T HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING MYSELF." I don't give up control easily, and I can comfortably say that because I know there are others who can relate. Yesterday and today, I had to reach out and ask for help, and it was probably one of the healthiest choices I could ever make, far beyond what I eat or for how long I exercise. Realizing that there are people surrounding me who love me and will help me when I reach out really rattles the mind of a woman who believes that she has to be everything to everyone, and do everything all the time. It's not a popular response, to reach out and ask for help, but I learned today that doing this very thing saved me from what could have been a much longer and much more painful healing process, had I chosen not to. We are so quick to help others who reach out to us; why do we struggle to reach out, ourselves?

So many lies to combat, so much tide to turn...but I'm doing it, one step at a time.

Where are you in your process of being refined? Are you trying to do it all yourself? Where is God in the picture? Are there others surrounding you who are willing to help you?

Reach out. Start turning the tide. With God's hand upon you, it's possible.

Blessings.