"Don’t you know that He who pursues and explores the human heart intimately knows the Spirit’s mind because He pleads to God for His saints to align their lives with the will of God? We are confident that God is able to orchestrate everything to work toward something good and beautiful when we love Him and accept His invitation to live according to His plan."
Romans 8:26-28

Yesterday was the two-month mark. Two months. 60 days from now, I will be boarding a plane bound for Canada. My heart sinks a bit when I think about this. The Lord knows that, deep in my heart, I'm looking forward to being back home with my family and friends. The Lord knows that, deep in my heart, I am looking forward to the ministry opportunities that He has in store for me. 

But The Lord also knows that, deep in my heart, I still battle with fear about the future, wondering what on earth this next chapter holds. The Lord knows that, deep in my heart, I am feeling a lot of sadness about leaving my beloved friends and corps family in Oklahoma City. I take a measure of comfort in knowing that, because my Heavenly Father created me, He knows and understands everything that runs through my heart and mind. There's no need for me to hide what I am thinking and feeling from Him. I'm thankful that I am slowly learning and digesting this truth. 

Yesterday, rather than wallow in self-pity and be depressed about leaving, I chose to begin a project that allows me to look forward to the future; I put crochet hook to yarn, and began to craft a gift for my best friend's new baby. He will be three months old when I meet him in August. 

I started the project...and it didn't look right. I turned to the good folks at YouTube to get me back on the right track, and the project finally began to take shape.

What I saw, as the project started coming together, was a stair-like shape...

And then I looked a little closer, to the intricate weaving of the strands of yarn. Amazing how just a few twists of the hook can create something so lovely...

...that's when, out of nowhere, God spoke to me. I knew it could be noone else. 

Right now, my life feels like a big ball of yarn. I take hook to yarn, and I just can't seem to make it right. It seems to me that, when I surrender pride and ask My Lord to do the weaving, He creates such a beautiful creation. There are steps involved, and sometimes the staircase feels like a mountain; but so long as I keep following Him, and allowing Him to do the weaving, my journey, this chapter, will be crafted into a beautiful story, one of growth, one of victory, but more importantly, one of God's faithfulness. 

So I am trusting. I am trusting God to continue weaving the threads of this next chapter together, while tying up the loose ends of this current one. I am trusting that He is crafting my story with such care, even when I can't quite see what the complete picture will look like. What I need to do is continue seeking Him, and continue seeking His will for my life. 

This morning in church, we sang the words of a beautifully timely hymn, that reminded me to trust, simply trust: 

Trusting as the moments fly, 

Trusting as the days go by, 

Trusting Him, what'er befall,

Trusting Jesus, that is all!

("Simply Trusting", SASB 892)

I shall keep this particular crocheting project close to my heart. I won't be showing the finished product until I give it to my sweet friend and her beautiful baby; but each time I take hook to yarn, I will remember how God showed me truth in woven threads...

Blessings.